The Coon's new enemy
by KymanLuver8D
Summary: Shortly after The Coon got kicked out of Coon and friends, he gets a distress call from Mint Berry Crunch. The team has been held captive. To The Coon's suprise, Chaos isn't responsible this time. He's up against something much worse. Kyle X Cartman
1. Chapter 1

**The Coon's new enemy**

_**Okay… I'm writing this is before Coon 3 has come out, so… I don't know what's going to happen in that episode so don't blame me if it doesn't match the show!**_

The city isn't what it used to be. It all happened so fast. Everything went to crap. It's like... everyone's sense of morals just... disappeared. Bad economy made things worse. The jobs started drying up. Then the stores had to shut down. Then a black man was elected President. He was supposed to change things. He didn't. As more and more people turned to crime and violence the town becomes gripped in fear. Dark times. The city needs protection. There is an animal that lives by night, searches the trashcans and cleans out the garbage. To clean out the trashcan of society I've chosen to become more than a man. I'm the hero this town needs. I am… the Coon! As the world plummets into despair the Coon fights to keep order intact.

Eric Theodore Cartman sprinted down the street, grinning at as the air whooshed pleasantly in his face. Little did any of his so called 'friends' know, he was a super hero; fighting to save their pitiful lives every night. He closed his eyes, just using his ears to listen to the wind, this was his spot light; no one could possibly mess this up for him. He had gotten rid of Mysterion long ago and those losers had kicked him out of Coon and Friends. He sprinted as fast as his chubby legs would let him feeling a sudden burst of anger. They had kicked him out of Coon and Friends, and he was the Coon! He didn't understand their logic; and he refused to try. The fact of the matter was, those fools had brought this on themselves. The Coon shouldn't be helping them, but yet… he was. Why? He had no clue.

His team of super heroes had needed him, but they let him go. Now look at them, they had been captured by Professor Chaos, and The Coon was the only one who could save them. Of course, because he had chosen to be a symbol, a role model, a hero, he would have to save them. It was his absolute pleasure to kick Professor Chaos into next week, but it was saving those traitors that disturbed him.

He had gotten a distress call from that retard 'Mint Berry Crunch' so he had come to save their hides. Little did he know, Professor Chaos was one of the captives. He was up against something much… much worse.

_**If you don't get why this is Kyle X Cartman just wait… you'll see.**_

_***Evil Laugh* **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Okay LOL people have been messaging, faving, and alerting… but not reviewing! REVIEW OR I WILL FIND YOU! :(**_

Here it was, the place 'Mint Berry Crunch' had told him to go. The storage unit. He knew Chaos had one… but oddly enough this one was a different number. He shrugged; maybe Chaos's grandmother kicked him out.

He chuckled at the thought. He bent down to grab the handle and lifted it up, nearly falling to the floor laughing at the frightened gasps that came as a reaction.

"CARTMAN?" Someone called, Eric felt his anger boil up. How did they know?

"NO FOOLS! THE COON!" He spat angrily.

"Yeah whatever fata-… behind you!" Came a terrified warning from The Tool.

"Wha-" He felt his body go cold as a sickening crash echoed around the room. The world spun slowly around him as he fell to the floor, his head thundering.

_**LOL sorry it's so short I had to update SOMETHING fast. REVIEW DAMN YOU! IF I SEE YOU ON THE FAVORITED LIST AND NOT ON THE REVIEW LIST I SHALL EAT YOUR FACE WITH COOKIES AND MILK! IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAAAAAR!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**HA! XD I just find it hilarious that some of you people hate me XD I would like to thank number4lover660 because he actually had the guts to review something bad instead of private messaging it. LOL a lot of u people hate me XD I find that EXTREMELY funny. :) So anyways… yes. All I got to say is, DON'T LIKE DON'T FUCKING READ. Christ… is that so hard.**_

Eric felt his head pound as soon as he opened his eyes to what seemed like the distant fluorescent lighting they have at cheap schools. He felt as if a bowling ball was rolling around freely in his head, the world was spinning and blurred.

"Hello Coon, I see you're awake,"

_**HA! Just to piss you off me made a short chapter :)… okay… I was planning to do this, but for people like XEmerald Isle and Jewish GAGA who update on every single story I write and every chapter, I shall make this a long one ;D OKAY BACK TO THE STORY!**_

Eric let out a groan, he felt his head throb a single time, and the world came into focus. He tried to move his arms to brush a brunette lock from his face, but discovered he was tied to the wall with some kind of chains. He yanked at them furiously, feeling his heart thud like a hammer on cloth.

"It's no use fata-… I mean Coon," Came the mysterious detached voice again. He decided to put his small dilemma to the side for a moment to look at where the voice had come from.

In front of him was a boy about his age, there was something familiar about him, yet so different. The first thing Eric noticed was his aura, his aura was radiating boiling anger and purest hatred. It surprised even Eric himself, he hated a lot of things, but this… this was strong.

The second thing was his looks. He had a fair complexion, eyes narrowed; below his eyes were black spirals, most likely from either paint or eyeliner. He wore a black mask, with a hood covering his hair; he was dressed in a black cloak with black boots. This is as best as Eric could describe it, in truth… there were no words for what the boy looked like. He looked… mysterious, dangerous, venomous… bad… just then Eric felt a certain twinge in his chest he had never felt before, but he didn't have time to worry about. What mattered was that there was a stranger in front of him that had kidnapped him and chained him to a wall.

He had planned to sound menacing, cruel, and just as vicious as the stranger appeared to him.

"Who're you?" To his dismay it came out more like a whimper. The stranger only chuckled darkly in response and looked up, eyes flashing in another indescribable way.

"You may not know who I am, but I know who you are," The stranger said. Eric noticed that his voice was like syrup… so velvety… slippery… secret… seductive… Eric lost his train of thought slowly, staring in his kidnappers eyes.

"If you're wondering why a brought you here," The stranger continues, staring at Eric confusedly.

"Oh, yeah," Eric said, being yanked back to earth.

"Respect mah athouritah! As soon as I get down from here I'll claw your eyes out!" Eric yelled, and to his relief, his voice came out scornfully.

"Look fat ass, I brought you here because I fucking hate you and I want to smash your fucking teeth in! You're a racist, manipulative, belittling, rude…" The stranger's eyes widened in shock, and stared at his captive in fear.

Eric looked at the stranger, slowly putting two and two together as only he could… suddenly the elusive stranger seemed all too familiar.

"KAHL!"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Ty for all the wonderful reviews people! 8D It really means a lot. Well, here we go! Btw I'm writing this at like 3 am so… it might not be as descriptive.**_

The stranger sighed in annoyance, crossing his arms.

"Well… that sort of backfired. Congratulations Cartman… you figured me out," Kyle spat angrily.

"Yeah, I'm so proud of myself," Eric retorted sarcastically.

"Now get me down from here or I'll tell on you!" Eric squealed, face beginning to turn beet red. To his anger Kyle merely laughed hystericly.

"I'M SERIOUS YOU GODAMN JEW!" Cartman screamed. Kyle studied his face carefully and then sighed.

"Forget it fat ass… I don't have the right… I can't… I can't hurt you without getting my ass kicked by my ma so…" He stuck his hand inside his back pocket and pulled out a golden key that looked sickeningly distorted in the lighting.

Eric remained silent in shock that the angry little Jew was letting him go so easy. He reached up and stuck the key in the lock and immediately Cartman tumbled to floor in a heap.

"Hurry up and get out of here," Kyle said, pointing towards the door.

"I have something to do first," Eric replied, his lip curling into a cruel sneer.

"Wha-AH!" Eric screamed and tackled Kyle who yelped in response. Because of Eric's weight Kyle was forced down, and as they fell, their lips smashed together simultaneously.


End file.
